Stretch the Halls

It’s the holiday season, which means you’ve probably got at least one party on your calendar, whether it’s a family get-together, a work shindig, or an excuse for you and your friends to dress up and drink eggnog. If you’re a cocktail dress gal, there are plenty of places to turn for guidance, as there should be—every blog, magazine, and retailer will point you in the direction of a million bangin’ frocks. And listen: a sparkly little number and a pair of high heels are one of life’s great pleasures, so if you go that route, we salute you. However, holiday parties also mean food, glorious food! Maybe you’re one of those super-disciplined babes who prefers to keep it as healthy as possible, sticking to crudites and a cookie or two, but us? We came to eat, honey. The cheese ball, the chip & dip, the sugar cookies, the candy: we’re not holding back. We’re stuffing our faces for the baby Jesus, and that means we need EATIN’ PANTS.

The good news is that finding elastic-waist pants that are actually cute isn’t the challenge it would have been even five years ago. Womenswear designers definitely seem to think about comfort more than they used to, and that is great news for us. Still, looking put together in stretch pants does require some thought, so we’re here to guide you if you need it. Below, you’ll see each of us in two looks: one for a casual Christmas drink at a bar, and one full-on party Lewk. Then, you can keep scrolling for even more inspiration courtesy of some Polyvore sets Lindsey put together. Because you can never have too much stretch.




What are you wearing?

My bar stretch pants look consists of my treasured 1984 Spinal Tap “Smell The Glove” tour t-shirt – the sleeves of which I cut off myself (it is one of my most prized sartorial possessions) – pleather motorcycle jacket from Zara, leopard print flats, a brass and white leather collar necklace by Chicago-based home and jewelry designer Attalie Dexter, and of course the comfiest ever pair of drawstring joggers from Target.

My fancy stretch pants look consists of a sheer button up blouse from ASOS, the tie belt from a dress being used here as a pussybow, leather cut out heels from Kelsi Dagger, and some soft af crushed velvet leggings also from Target.



How would you describe these looks?

I’d describe the first one as dive bar on top, bedtime on bottom. The second one, maybe… a little bit victorian, a little bit 80’s hair band groupie?

What are the oldest pieces? The newest?

The oldest thing out of both outfits are the leopard shoes. I bought them on Gilt about three years ago. They have been resoled and reheeled because I wore them within centimeters of their lives. The newest are both pairs of pants. I got them both a couple of weeks ago at the same time in preparation for this post.


What is your favorite thing about this outfit?
I definitely like the bar outfit better than the fancy outfit. I think my favorite thing about it is the kind of “don’t give af” attitude it presents. Like it looks like I just woke up, skipped the shower, put on the closest pair of shoes to the bed and a jacket and then walked out the door. Which honestly, I have done on multiple occasions.Also, This Is Spinal Tap is one of the greatest movies ever made, so there’s that. (If anyone ever comes across a Shark Sandwich t-shirt, please let your girl know.)





What are you wearing?

Bar look: Pants from Target, sweatshirt from Forever 21, shoes by Johnston and Murphy purchased at an insane discount at Le Garage Sale in Austin. Party look: Same pants, booties by Dorothy Perkins (a gift from Lindsey!), shirt from H&M, blazer by Mango, purchased at ASOS.

How would you describe these looks?

I felt like Mel C from the Spice Girls at the MTV Video Music Awards in the first outfit, which is what I call an unequivocal success. The second one is obvious: Business Genie.

What are the oldest pieces? The newest?

The oldest are the sweatshirt and the blazer, respectively. Newest is the pants, which I bought for this post, natch.


What is your favorite thing about this outfit?

Honestly, just how stupid they both are. I really like being at a place in my life where I’m not afraid to take a risk like centering two entire looks around glittery stretch pants. The first outfit is one hundred percent overkill, with the sequins and the shoulder jewelry, and I love that. I feel like I’m moving ever closer towards my destiny of being an old woman who looks insane but also awesome.

Still jonesin’ for more elastic ecstasy? You’re in luck:

Chill With Your Ladies Stretchies
Bar Stretchies
Holiday Party Stretchies
Date Stretchies


All right, y’all, that’s it for us this week. We want to hear from you! What festive yet comfy items are you eyeing? Do you love a good cheese ball as much as we do? Tell us everything. And then go forth and snack your ass off. C U Next Tuesday!





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