The Mall of America is a Cross Between a Dystopian Satire and the Best Stoned You’ve Ever Been

Happy Almost Thanksgiving, turkeys! And look at us actually posting two weeks in a row! See, there are still things to be thankful for these days. You’re welcome. In the spirit of my recent move to Minnesota and our impending Black Friday (but actually Thursday) consumerist gluttony, I thought now would be an apropos time to tell you all about my new favorite place on earth…

THE MALL OF AMERICA.

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Gimme Face: Sephora VIB Sale Edition

Hiiiiiiii! The ten or so of you who read us were probably starting to wonder if we were really coming back, but against all odds (the odds being sheer laziness and distance), here we are. Because we need to talk about the annual VIB sale at Sephora that happened this past weekend. Girl, it was LIT. All the holiday palettes and limited editions are out, a tiny capsule of Colourpop products are in select stores, and VIBs got 20% off EVERYTHANG. It’s truly the most wonderful time of the year. Read More

A Review of Madison Reed (Not Ashley Madison)

Once upon a time, Taylor did not care so much about her hair. She used to let me cut it in our disgusting college apartment bathroom after multiple gin and tonics, with the same scissors I used to open packages of batteries for my Discman and cut the tags off my new Forever 21 gear. The atrocities I carried out on her head as a result of this were many, so much so that I even apologized to her for it during my maid of honor speech at her wedding many years later.

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Gimme Face: Summer Face Essentials

Hellooooooo everybody! We’re back! Sorry we’ve been so spotty with the posts recently. There’s a lot of big shit happening personally for both of us, but hopefully there won’t be any more interruptions for awhile. Thanks for hanging in there with your girls.

Since we last wrote, summer has officially arrived. It’s been surprisingly mild here in Georgia this June, but the heat is ramping up, and it’s not gonna break until October. Say goodbye to dry skin and brittle hair and hello to a constant sweat-mask and chlorine wrecking your dye job! Read More

Trend Alert: Denim with Pizzazz!

Trends, as we all know, are cyclical. At some point, your sartorial past is going to come back to haunt you, and for me and Lindsey, that point is now, apparently. So many of the things we wore and loved (and didn’t wear and hated) are cropping up in stores, some thoughtfully updated with a twist – ribbed crop tops are way cuter when they’re made of plain old cotton instead of whatever that disgusting 90s synthetic fabric was, for instance – and some looking as if they materialized unscathed from a rip in the time-space continuum (I’m talking to you, mini backpack purses. I REFUSE). But what’s it like wearing the stuff you wore in your teens in your thirties? Personally, I love trends, and I refuse to act like I’m too good for them. So this begs the question: can an old dog squeeze into her old tricks? We’re here to find out, and we’re starting with jeans.

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5 Simple Steps to Eating Right

LOL JK this post is just about me and Taylor going to the Food Truck Festival in beautiful Grant Park over the weekend and stuffing our pie holes until we could no longer bear to be wearing pants. Listen. Everybody deserves a cheat day every now and then. This was ours, and we decided to make it count.
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Gimme Face: Volume 1

As you’ve probably guessed by now, I’m into makeup. Like, really into it. While Lindsey is obsessed with researching any and everything that interests her, that’s not really my speed–except when it comes to cosmetics. I read makeup boards, have at various points subscribed to multiple beauty sample services (at the moment, budget constraints mean I’m just doing Ipsy), and I can spend hours in an Instagram K-hole looking at pictures and videos posted by beauty gurus. Those beauty gurus, especially, are my crack. Their poreless skin, their impossibly radiant highlighter, their microbladed eyebrows, their absurdly expensive fake lashes: I love it all, and almost everything I’ve learned is thanks to genetically blessed twenty-somethings who refer to a single blackhead as a “breakout.”  Read More

Take Care

Although we as a nation are divided, after perusing social media on New Year’s Eve, it seems there’s one thing we can all agree on: 2016 was a dumpster fire and is cordially invited to go fuck itself. As relieved as Lindsey and I are to see the backside of the shitshow of these last twelve months, though, there are a lot of reasons 2017 is likely to be just as rough a ride, which is why in our first post of the year, we want to talk to you about the importance of self-care.  Read More

on the fight to come

Like many of you, we are devastated by the results of last week’s election. A Trump presidency is a crushing blow to the rights of women, people of color, LGBTQ folks, Muslims, immigrants, the disabled, the poor – in short, everyone except rich white men. We don’t have anything new to say, but if, like us, you’re ready to show up and fight, here are some things you can do. Read More

Well, hello.

Picture it: you’re a teenage weirdo. Maybe you can do a convincing impression of a normal person, or maybe you’re too strange even to pretend. Maybe you have a few friends like you, or maybe you’re totally alone. At any rate, high school seems endless, and you’re itching to escape to something bigger and better. At some point during this struggle, a well-meaning adult sits you down and tells you, “You just have to find your niche.” It’s good advice, but the “just” is misleading. More importantly, this tidy little maxim is missing some crucial information, like: what the fuck even is my niche? Read More