The Mall of America is a Cross Between a Dystopian Satire and the Best Stoned You’ve Ever Been

Happy Almost Thanksgiving, turkeys! And look at us actually posting two weeks in a row! See, there are still things to be thankful for these days. You’re welcome. In the spirit of my recent move to Minnesota and our impending Black Friday (but actually Thursday) consumerist gluttony, I thought now would be an apropos time to tell you all about my new favorite place on earth…

THE MALL OF AMERICA.

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Holy Shit It’s Finally Fall Y’all

Goodbye swamp-crotch, hello tights and boots and jackets and ALL THE GOOD CLOTHES.

Taylor and I have been holed up in our air-conditioned abodes with our pets and fams anxiously awaiting the apocalypse or the first day of fall… whichever came first. Turns out it was the latter, but seemingly by a pretty narrow margin amiright?

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Ask RBF: Flattering My Actual Body

Hey, babes! I was all set to write this post last week and then this bitch named Irma came and knocked out my power and internet for days (and Lindsey and I are so grateful to be safe and our hearts go out to those who lost so much more in this storm). I was so ready, though, because this is an installment ofย Ask RBF, and WE LOVE GETTING QUESTIONS FROM Y’ALL.

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Fashion Forms

Here’s the thing: I don’t really understand how time works. I’ll pack a day full of tasks and errands that I’m sure I’ll be able to complete, only to make it halfway through the list. I’m never late to work, but sometimes I show up with no makeup or fourth-day hair that really should’ve been washed because I don’t seem to understand that getting ready actually takes time and isn’t a magical process. I constantly forget to account for traffic on the way to the gym during morning rush hour and have to cut my workouts short, or, if I don’t have anywhere to be, I’ll do All The Moves and be surprised that I’ve been lifting weights for an hour. Read More

Packing for Paris

I always overpack. ALWAYS. Three day trip to Nashville? Six dresses. Week-long trip to Chicago? Eight pairs of jeans. Weekend at the beach? Three pairs of boots. It’s a problem. And for someone who loves planning so much, you would think that I would do a better job of it when it comes to packing. I think what it is for me, though, is that my propensity for planning is far outweighed by my crippling fear of not having enough options, so I throw everything I can possibly fit into the suitcase… juuuuuust in case. This is stupid for many reasons, the main one being that once I get back home I have to then unpack all this shit that I didn’t even/was never going to wear, and unpacking is the piiiiiiiitts.

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Shopper Discretion Advised

Shopping smart is a skill. And it’s one that Taylor and I have only just recently begun to perfect. In college we would go to the mall and buy mountains of Forever 21 clothes that ended up never getting worn and ultimately being re-sold to Plato’s Closet and Rag-O-Rama so we’d have money to buy cigs and Chipotle.

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A Review of Madison Reed (Not Ashley Madison)

Once upon a time, Taylor did not care so much about her hair. She used to let me cut it in our disgusting college apartment bathroom after multiple gin and tonics, with the same scissors I used to open packages of batteries for my Discman and cut the tags off my new Forever 21 gear. The atrocities I carried out on her head as a result of this were many, so much so that I even apologized to her for it during my maid of honor speech at her wedding many years later.

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Game of Thrones Runway Review: Summer ’17

Game of Thrones’ final season premiered Sunday night (duh, everyone knows this), and before we talk about the fashion, which should be the most important thing, can we address what’s really on everyone’s mind? Namely, WHAT THE FUCK IS ED SHEERAN DOING HERE.

ed-sheeran-game-of-thrones
Get this tf out of my face

This is an insult and an outrage, and I love Maisie Williams, but I hope she one day knows enough about life to be embarrassed about the fact that she stanned so hard for this dummy that the showrunners let him ruin five minutes of a great show for her sake. His face is terrible, his music is terrible, and THIS CAMEO WAS TERRIBLE. But Twitter already did a great job of dragging this whole thing, so I’ll move on, because: you guys, the lewks this season are FIRE. (Warning: spoilers ahead. Obviously.)

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90s Trends, Rated

Happy Wednesday, dudes! We still can’t get it tf together, but a late post is an improvement over no post at all, right?

So let’s talk about how the 90s are fully back. Lindsey and I are at that age where we get to experience the return of trends we were alive to see the first time, and I don’t know about her, but I’m having flashbacks of my mom telling me that one day I’d know what it was like to see younguns rocking the same styles that I cringe remembering myself in as an adolescent. What my mom didn’t predict is that I’d be HERE FOR IT.ย  Read More

Gimme Face: Summer Face Essentials

Hellooooooo everybody! We’re back! Sorry we’ve been so spotty with the posts recently. There’s a lot of big shit happening personally for both of us, but hopefully there won’t be any more interruptions for awhile. Thanks for hanging in there with your girls.

Since we last wrote, summer has officially arrived. It’s been surprisingly mild here in Georgia this June, but the heat is ramping up, and it’s not gonna break until October. Say goodbye to dry skin and brittle hair and hello to a constant sweat-mask and chlorine wrecking your dye job! Read More